Facing fear

I really enjoy inspirational and uplifting films, especially when they are based on truth. Recently I watched the film Coach Carter, which is a true story based on a man named Kenny Carter who became the basketball coach at Richmond High School. This film has many great themes and messages throughout, but the one I will focus on is his pursuit for what he believed in despite the extreme opposition that he faced. There is no doubt that there would have been the presence of many fears; failure, rejection, loneliness and being ostracized. Despite these real fears Coach Carter pushes on and fights for what he believes in. He shows courage, determination, resilience and grit because he knows exactly what he is fighting for and what he wants to achieve.

Throughout the film Coach Carter asks one of his players what it is that he fears, to which the player responds near the end of the film:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Read this again. This quote really resonated with me. So often we feel we have to hold onto our fears and keep them to ourselves. Maybe through the act of sharing our fears and letting them go we allow a space for others to do the same. Our actions set a precedent for others, so what precedent do we want to create?

Is fear inherently negative? Do we need to avoid fear at all costs? Am I inadequate for feeling fear? I don’t believe fear itself is a bad thing, it helps us exercise a healthy sense of judgement and caution. The fear that stops us from moving forward and from choosing life, is fear that we need to overcome.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

There are many different types of fear, I can’t address them all so the one I will focus on is irrational fear that debilitates us and holds us back from experiencing life.

In the song Love alone is worth the fight there is a line that has stuck with me, “Is it fear you’re afraid of?” I no longer want to be held captive by fear. Fear only serves to incapacitate us, hold us back and create stagnation.

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

There have been many times that I have passed up opportunities and stopped myself from getting involved in things I really wanted to do due to fear. I have had to work through many of my own fears such as the fear of failure, fear of inadequacy and of not being good enough. Facing our fears doesn’t mean that we won’t at times still fail, or struggle. But there are lessons in failure and the facing of our fears are a necessary part of our journey.

I no longer want to live with the lies of fear. I want us all to live boldly, to be gracious to ourselves and others and to create an environment that allows ourselves and others to face our fears without the fear of failure or rejection or simply “not being good enough”.

In a previous blog titled Perspective, I said that “We cannot be brave without the presence of fear”. I don’t believe we should be on a pursuit to eradicate fear from our lives, we should be learning to rise above it.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela.

It’s important for us to acknowledge the fears we have; only then can we accept them and begin to move past those fears. Perspective is something that plays a big role in the overcoming of our fears and so we need a positive change in our mindset. Learn to hold a hand, we are not in this alone and we were not designed to face our fears alone. Don’t wait for fear to subside before doing whatever it is that fear has been holding you back from, learn to go with fear.

“You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it.” (We bought a zoo).  

In the story of David and Goliath, David faced a monumental task. I have no doubt that if I were in David’s shoes, I would have been terrified. How could I, a shepherd boy with just a sling and five stones face this monster of a man that leaves armies shaking in their boots? The beauty of this story is that David did not choose to focus on the size of Goliath, or on how dangerous he was, but rather David focused on the source from where he drew his strength. David didn’t focus on Goliath, but rather spoke about how great God is. In situations where we are facing our own Goliaths, we need to learn to talk faith rather than fear.

I encourage you to start small. Gain confidence through small victories, and as you grow in this confidence and self-belief rise above the fear and conquer your goliath. RISE ABOVE IT.

“To be fully self-conscious means that you’re perfectly aware of your limitations and how you might be hurt. And then to make the decision to move forward into the unknown and the land of the stranger anyway… That’s one of the secrets to a good life.” – Jordan Peterson.

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”