Taming the tiger

Identification

We often only see the stress we are under when we are consumed by it, and often struggle identifying our levels of stress early on. Its important to become aware of ourselves and be able to identify when we are under stress in order to effectively deal with it. Here are just a few red flags:

• Getting in trouble with teachers (teens)
• Sleeping less or more than usual
• Appetite loss or binge eating
• Somatic symptoms – headaches, stomach-aches, colds, infections, sore muscles etc
• Escapist behaviour or avoidant behaviour – overdoing activities and ignoring certain tasks or activities that need to be done
• Social withdrawal
• Crying for no apparent reason
• Restlessness, anxiety and constant worry
• Feelings of lack of control
• Depression, sadness and irritability

What can we do?

An important step in becoming the Tiger King is to gain insight. Identify the fears, worries and misconceptions you have about yourself and your world. How do we perceive our challenges? Admitting that you are struggling and that you have taken on more than you can handle is actually an important step and is a sign of a psychological strength.

Pearl Bailey – “You never find yourself until you face the truth.”

Gaining another person’s perspective can be invaluable. Find someone you trust and ask them for their honest evaluation of yourself, your behaviour and your situation. Often when faced with the truth we prefer to live in denial as we don’t want to admit how much we may be struggling or how off-centre our lives have become. Step away from this and be open to the perspective of others. It’s okay to make mistakes and fall down sometimes.

Mary Pickford said – “If you have made mistakes there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”

Reach out to other people and put your trust in someone. It doesn’t have to be your parents or best friend, but you need to find someone to open up to. Find someone who can help you create a psychologically safe environment, if you are in a more fortunate position then create a safe environment for people who may need someone for support.

No one is born with knowing how to make friends and maintain relationships, knowing how to deal with stress, how to study or manage finances and so on. Take an active role in learning, especially in the areas of your life that you are struggling with and lacking in. Turn away from negative coping behaviours.

Being kind to yourself is extremely important and for many of us can be very difficult due to external and internal pressures. We need to learn to sometimes lower the expectations we place ourselves under. It’s okay to not always be okay. It’s okay to not always be the best at everything. YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Make time for the people you enjoy spending time with and who make you feel good. Who makes you laugh and is fun to be around? Spend time with those people. Surround yourself with positivity and be the positivity to others.

Focus on holistic health. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, spend some down time and get good rest. Make time for your spiritual wellbeing.

Use positive self-talk and think about yourself in a positive light. There can be many voices that compete for our attention and there is constant battle going on in our thoughts. Learn to listen to the voice of truth. You are beautiful. You are important. You are worthy. You do deserve happiness.

Can we add time or happiness to our lives through worrying? The answer is simply no, so practice spending your time living life and praising God. Cast your burdens and anxiety upon the Lord.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”